Nun and The Hippie

A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off at the next stop.

When the bus starts on its way Bob the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the Lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," said the bus driver, "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you.

"Well the hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the nun shows up. When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of God. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first.

" The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity.The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie!!"

The nun replied by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!!"

Cat and The Spoon

Live Reporter Nearly Killed

Extreme content. Viewer discretion is advised.

Chinese Army

Japanese Marshmallow Eating Game

I nearly died laughing watching this video.

That's Obama It Is

Ceiling Cat For Everyone

First, there was this ceiling cat.. watching you masturbate lol.



Now you can build your own!

Hooray!

Rick Bond Roll

Popped Collars

What Will Happen?

Shark Vs Tank

Japanese Tug-of-War

25-year-old virgin wants to get laid

So, here's the story - I'm 25, and to this date, have never been laid. Yes, it's sad, but it's true. The whole story, however, is far more interesting than just the lack of sex.


When I was 21, I was engaged to be married to a woman I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, and the two of us had chosen to wait until marriage to have sex so we could share something special with each other. But when I was 22, just six months before our wedding, I discovered that she had been cheating on me and sleeping with another man. Needless to say, I was crushed. For the last 3 years I haven't really been able to bring myself to start dating again as the pain of that betrayal still runs deep inside of me. But as a man, the overwhelming urge to have sex is just starting to get to be too much for me to handle, and so I made a bet with one of my very hot (but also very platonic) female friends - if I can get 5 million visitors to this website in 30 days, she has agreed to help me with my "problem". If I can't get to five million in 30 days, I have to be her personal servant for a week, doing anything she asks me to do.

Help the guy out, she's hot... (current stats: 1,215,688 visitors, since Oct. 1)

A Day In The Life Of A Persian Cat

Brand New - The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

A song for the broken hearted. Aww.



If it makes you less sad
I will die by your hand
I hope you find out what you want
I already know what I am
And if it makes you less sad
We'll start talking again
And you can tell me how vile
I already know that I am

I'll grow oldAnd start acting my age
I'll be a brand new day
In a life that you hate
A crown of gold
A heart that's harder than stone
And it hurts a whole lot
But it's missed when it's gone

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad you that can forgive
Only hoping as time goes
You can forget

If it makes you less sad
I'll move out of the state
You can keep to yourself
I'll keep out of your way
And if it makes you less sad
I'll take your pictures all down
Every picture you paint
I will paint myself out
It's as cold as a tomb
And it's dark in your room
When I sneak to your bed
To pour salt in your wounds
So call it quits
Or get a grip
Say you wanted a solution
You just wanted to be missed

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget
So you can forget
You can forget

You are calm and reposed
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white like the skin
Stretched over your bones
Spring keeps you ever close
You are second hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin
Standing trial for your sins
Holding onto yourself the best you can
You are the smell before the rain
You are the blood in my veins

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget

Cuppy Cake Sam

..or Chubby Cake Sam?

Baboon No Feel No Pain.

Uncle Paul

*ring ring*

"Hello?"
"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

(brief pause)

"But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy."

"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."


(a few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone)


"I did it, Daddy."
"And what happened, honey?"

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Holy shi--! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and jumped out the back window.. and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."



(Very very long pause.. then Daddy says,)



"Swimming pool? Is this 255-6999?"
"No. I think you got the wrong number..."

Little Girl's Mirror

Scary, but nevertheless it's still fun to watch :)

Transforming Cigarette Box